Get Ugly. (Easy Halloween Costume Ideas)

Ah that ripe time of year when kids get to dress up as superheroes and steal candy from their neighbors. That special time when we teach children that despite what the Safety Kids cassette tape taught us, it’s ok to take candy from strangers as long as they are wearing a cool costume. 

 

Dressing up for Halloween gets more difficult the older you get. No longer can a 7^th grade girl show up in thermal underwear, a fake beard, a pie tin strapped to her belt, call herself a miner and think those nasty little kids will appreciate her good humor.  No, no.  Boys like girls who are pretty for the holiday. 

 

Fortunately, all hope is not lost.

 

Despite what Mean Girls taught us, getting ugly on Halloween does not have to end at the teenage years.

 

I propose that Halloween satisfaction is directly proportional to the ugliness of the costume. It's easy to get ugly, and it sure is fun. 

 

I offer the following as easy costume ideas/my favorite Halloween successes:

 

Werewolf! Supplies needed: furry fabric scraps stuck on with honey, brown face paint, raggedy clothes, ratted hair. Yes that is NOT a wig.

Moaning Myrtle! This costume won me 2nd place in the 7th grade costume contest. I think I lost to Jeff Speechly who was a shower. Yes, literally, a SHOWER. I was mad too.  It may be important to note that this toilet seat had never been used.

Bib Fortuna! You know, Jabba the Hutt's creepy little stooge?  Supplies: Nude panty hose stuffed with towels and cotton for the brain, graduation robe, red paint for eyes.

Flying Monkey!!! It was always my dream to be a flying monkey. I got some friends to join in. Lisy made a great lion in my dad's old yellow sweats. The monkey was accomplished by painting a dust mask brown and slicing it across for a mouth opening. Then I made a tube of furry fabric (leftover from the werewolf probably), sewed it shut on top, cut holes for the face, and wore it over the dust mask. My wings were wrapping paper tubes with various brownish fabric scraps dangling off it. No idea where the vest came from. 

John Lennon and Dracula! Found an old suit of my uncle's left over from the 70s deep in a closet. Added some glasses, towel dried hair, and drew on a gotee. No shoes for Abbey Road.  Jare's Dracula costume came mostly from my high school band uniform plus a cape and some fangs.

 

 

 

Viking. Bought the hat from Zurcher's for like $5. Made a yarn beard and tin foil axe head. Recycled my cave-man fur thing from a previous year. Got ugly.

Happy Halloween from 1993! Let's examine these costumes left to right. Ike's Ogre costume: spiked green hair and some face paint.  Jare is a BYU Granny. That sweatshirt was a hand-me-down from some filthy zoobie relative. It only got worn on Halloween. Classic.  I was a lion. The mane is just some hay glued to cardstock.  Lay is Mother Goose. It was a great year. I'm assuming since I don't remember it.

 

 

So girls and boys and especially girls,

 

Get ugly on the big night.

 

And Happy Halloween!!